Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach when fear takes over? For years, I lived with that constant companion, letting it dictate my choices and dim my light.
As a Holistic Counsellor now, I see how fear creates barriers between us and our true potential. It's that voice telling you you're not good enough, not deserving – the one that makes you shrink away from opportunities.
My story might resonate with you.
I grew up craving attention from parents who worked long hours, their emotional walls built by their upbringing. Being introverted and empathic felt like a burden.
Each time I gathered the courage to step forward, fear pulled me back into its familiar embrace. My relationships, including my first marriage, reflected this pattern of self-doubt.
The turning point wasn't dramatic. Life became too stagnant, too small. My soul whispered that it was time to use fear as fuel rather than let it paralyze me.
Through counselling and self-development, I discovered something profound: often, when fear overwhelmed me, it was actually pointing toward something better; I just couldn't see it then.
Ready to start your own journey beyond fear? Here's what worked for me:
1. Awareness - before overcoming fear, you must know that your fears are causing havoc in your life. It’s easy to get so attached to your thoughts and feelings that you think they are all that exist, which couldn’t be further from the truth. You are not your fears. You are the awareness that experiences it.
2. Gratitude - whenever you feel fear, switch it over to what you are grateful for instead. If you’re afraid of public speaking, be thankful for the opportunity to communicate with so many people and that they are there to genuinely listen to what you have to say.
3. Talk - no-brainer advice, but how often do we hold the negative in because we fear how others might react or for some other reason? Talking helps, but don’t throw a pity party for yourself. If you're not comfortable speaking to family or friends, find a good therapist. Therapy can be highly beneficial, even life-changing. If finding the right therapist is challenging, listen to your heart and choose someone who resonates with you.
4. Read - reading a good book on your specific fear can open new doors to moving on. I also like to read a lot of motivational and inspirational work on and around the topic I’m dealing with.
5. Meaning - we all go through things for a reason. That includes the fears we have. It also includes overcoming fear and learning the lessons that come out of it. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but when I look back at the challenges and fears in my life, I see that, more often than not, they delivered exactly the message I needed at that time.
6. Breathe - your breath can set you free. It can anchor you in the now and help you vanquish and overcome your most pervasive fears. I saved it for last because it’s one of the simplest and most powerful ways of overcoming fear.
What would become possible in your life if you started seeing fear as a signpost rather than a stop sign? Your journey of growth isn't about eliminating fear, it's about understanding its message and choosing to move forward anyway.
What's one small step you could take today toward what scares you?
Carmela Pollock is a certified Counsellor, Usui Reiki Master teacher, award-winning published author and advocate for mental health & women's health & well-being. Located in Mornington, Victoria, Australia she actively contributes to a number of charities that support mental health.
If you would like to know more about Carmela's services, visit her website at www.soulworksessential.com/workwithme