I have always had a non-conformist streak as a child, that would at times cause an uproar in the family. I refused to abide by cultural traditions that did not honour men and women equally. My mother struggled with my rebellious nature and dad thought I was adopted because of my strong opinions and stance on all things women in our Italian family.
It has happened during my life that most of the important steps on my journey have not been met with approval from others. At least at first, some of my most dramatic steps in life were often considered to be foolish by those around me.
This rebel nature can be a hard one sometimes. My family wasn't ready for something wildly and divinely rebellious and so, loneliness set in that started the journey of doubting my heart and mind.
'Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.'
~ Max Ehrmann
What l learnt in my self-esteem slide and deep dark hole, is trying to meet someone else's expectations is a sure fire way to erode your happiness and self-esteem. The 'not being good enough' mindset is one that is coated with external influences. The resulting inner struggle is reflecting to us that we are not looking within and honouring the shining heart that beats there. If you're reading this blog and your mind chatter is 'I'm not good enough', here are my 7 tips to hopefully get you back on the path to honouring the magic in you.
1. The only comparing and competing you should be doing is with yourself
Be the best version of YOU. Be the change you want to see in YOURSELF. Allow the future vision of YOU to be your hero. The world needs your qualities and your heart, not a copy cat.
2. Be kind and gentle with yourself - you're doing the best you can
You don't have to beat yourself up over not 'getting there' or 'feeling better'. As long as you can come away at the end of a day knowing you gave your best, that's all anyone can truly do. Think of a flower in a garden - it blooms at its own pace and shows its unique beauty as it does so. Continue reaching for the light and allow yourself to be nurtured.
3. Positive thinking is your birthright
The power of positivity is a gift to us from divine energy. If you want things to turn around keep your faith, release fear and keep your focus on solutions.
4. Everyone makes mistakes
The positive perspective and truth about mistakes are that they are an opportunity to teach us something and allow us to grow. We are all students here and mistakes are evidence we are trying and doing the best we can. Success takes work and mistakes are part of that.
5. There is more right with you than wrong with you
Even during our struggles, don't forget to focus on your strengths. When we switch our focus to what is right about ourselves, we could probably write a long list. If you need to do that exercise, go ahead and do it! Focus on your strengths and what you do well.
6. What you do right now can create a better outcome
Nothing is written in stone unless it's the past. Even then we can change the way we perceive it. The best way to move forward is to be present and put our focus on the now in a positive manner. Even when the negative shows up, know that you can correct it and move forward. It may take time but it can be done. Start with the breath, one moment, one breath... that's it. With the breath comes peace then clarity. Allow the future vision of you to be your hero. He or she waits for you in the stillness of the breath.
7. Be your own sacred rebel and believe
Be your own sacred rebel and be willing to be shown a different way to what has been, to what others have said is or is not possible. The one thing l have learnt on my healing journey is that there is always another way - love's way. To believe in the miracles of healing and creating is truly limitless. We might have our moments where we quake in our boots as we contemplate taking that next step - just know that's the sacred heart in you that loves life above all.
If you need guidance and support to get your confidence and self-esteem back on track, book a Holistic Counselling session with me at https://www.soulworksessential.com/holistic-counselling
Carmela Pollock is a holistic trained Counsellor, Quantum Healing Hypnosis therapist, Usui Reiki Master Teacher, animal lover, and avid book reader. She started her own healing journey nearly 15 years ago after a life-long struggle with chronic pain caused by uterine disease. After discovering the healing power of Reiki combined with Counselling, she is living a quality of life that was unimaginable before. Carmela is in private practice on the Mornington Peninsula, Australia where she holds a sacred space to guide and support adults and children in therapy using eastern and western medicine.
If you would like to know more about Carmela's services, visit her website at www.soulworksessential.com/workwithme
Client Praise
'I wasn’t sure what to expect when I went to see Carmela. I have only used psychologists before. I was pleasantly surprised with how in tune Carmela was and able to start making inroads unlike the psychologists I have seen. I highly recommend her. '
~ Mick Gray, Victoria, Australia
'Carmela has changed my life in so many ways. I was struggling and without direction. I played small because l didn't know how to get out of this limiting mindset. She guided me gently and opened a space of compassion and connection. I am so thankful and grateful of her skills to open a heart like mine that was closed for so long due to grief and childhood neglect. Thank you Carmela for what you do. She is amazing.'
~ Stephanie B, Mornington, Victoria, Australia
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